Like kissing your wife and kids

This concept has been running through my mind all day – I guess that’s how it works for a blogger but since this is my first post I’ll work my way into the whole thing.

As I was kissing my beautiful wife and my kids good bye this morning to head out the door to work (a little late again sorry Terry) it impressed me that despite the mundane repetitive nature of the good bye ritual it was valuable to our relationships. To tell my family I loved them and to express it physically to each as I left for a day at work is important to our relationships. I’m not a great fan of doing things for the sake of tradition or out of blind habit but this little ritual reinforces the very real and unforced moments that define our closeness.

Now I believe that my relationship with my wife could be incredibly healthy and vibrant even if we reduced the morning ritual to a quick good bye hollered back through the door. And my children don’t wonder at my love for them if they are yet in bed when I leave the house and utter not a sound to them. But the reverse is not true. If the only relational connection we had was a hurried hug and kiss and “I love you” our relationships would lack much. No honest talks of fears and dreams, no cuddling on the couch, no working on projects and sharing natural thoughts, not inside jokes and unstoppable laughter. Without these & many more building blocks of relationship the ritual at the door is valueless, yet in that context of fuller relationship the ritual at the door is comforting.

So what, is this not obvious? Yes, and no! When I consider my life as a follower of Christ, one who strives to draw close to him and to emulate his values, desires and actions, I see that too often I do little more to draw near in relationship than the spiritual equivalent of kissing my wife and kids good bye. A quick prayer at a meal, and uttered cry for help in tough times, the giving of minimal amounts of money to God’s work, a glance in the direction of a Bible and a word of Biblical direction pushed upon my kids as it is convenient to me, these and many more surface level Christian activities are meaningless with out the real deal.

The real deal is time of connection, mindful of his constant presence and unending love. Indulging in Bible reading to get closer looks at his character and actions upon the earth. Prayer times of unforced sharing and listening, generosity that extends beyond what anyone can see. True life change followed by desire to draw close. A comfort level with communicating in prayer that comes only when the one who is sought is more valuable for who his is than what we hope he will do.